John Carlton’s Best Ads: The Accidental Discovery

Golf is one of those golden markets that is clearly targeted…and populated with people who have an irrational passion for the sport.   They don’t bat an eye when I address them as “golf nuts” (which I frequently do).   They glorify in their passion.

They are so irrational, in fact… that we found products which actually lowered scores don’t do as well as secrets that help you wallop howitzer tee shots.  Golfers care about looking good on the tee box, and to hell with triple-digit rounds.

And they care a lot.

The hook in this headline is the incongruity of a skinny little guy smashing monster tee shots.  (425 yards is a loooong drive.)  And… he discovered how to do it by accident.  What’s more, the secret is so simple, it’s embarrassing. And will allow you to become a “human launchpad”.

Skinny, accident, embarrassing, human launch pad… all these are power words.  Everyone who reads them has their own personal memories and emotional connections stirred up.   The words tell a small story all by themselves.  Putting them all together creates an exploding geyser of conscious and unconscious responses in readers.  Skinny guys aren’t expected to exceed athletic standards.  You’re supposed to get good at golf by applying rigid scientific principles and practicing like a demon…not by accident.   And who doesn’t fantasize about being so good at something that you blush with embarrassment.

All this runs contrary to what the reader expects.   He is surprised, titillated, intrigued…and astonished by his own visceral reaction to the sensationalism of the story.  He feels compelled to read the ad– it’s a fun ride, it challenges his world-view of how things are, it gets his blood moving…and metaphorically pinches him on the ass.

It’s a pretty safe bet this will be the ONLY thing he reads today that stays with him. The story makes a deep impression.   An actual physical sensation, right down to his bones.

What’s more, no sooner are you reading about stunning documented ball speed and long ball championships…then you suddenly learn that this skinny kid insists he can teach anyone how to hit like this.  That includes you.  Then it’s benefit after benefit, piled on without mercy.  With a very generous offer that may get taken off the table without warning.  Plus cool free stuff.

Still don’t believe it?   Then check out the testimonials at the end of the letter.  Hard to argue with real people telling you dreams can come true.  This is a subject the reader is VERY interested in–getting ridiculously better at golf almost overnight.  He is rightly skeptical, but since I counter all his obvious objections — all risk is removed, lots of third-party validation (through testimonials), very clear list of benefits, very straightforward offer with no strings attached — he has an opportunity to feel safe enough to indulge himself on this.

Hey– it just might be what he’s been hoping for after all.  It’s certainly worth a look, isn’t it.

A note on typos:   There’s a doozy on page 1.  Right before the first subhead (…And Promptly Smashed A Gorgeous 425-Yard Drive With “Eyes For The Fairway!”), the typesetter dropped in a line that should have appeared at the very top of the page as a superscript over the headline (“Put Me In A Tee Box With Tiger Woods And I’ll Outdrive Him Every Time”).  We caught this typo and fixed it in subsequent mailings, and in the magazine format we converted this letter to.

But I chose this version, with the typo, to illustrate a point:  Good enough is good enough.  People are not offended or stumped by the occasional mistake in your ad.  Not only do they figure it out… but often they just blow right by it, without noticing.  This is especially true when the surrounding copy is compelling and has them by the throat.

(I’ve included a copy of the magazine version of the ad right after the letter version here– to show you where that wandering line of type should have appeared.  You’ll notice also, in this mag version, that the deal has been slightly altered to justify a different price.  This higher magazine price is necessary because of the higher costs involved in print ads.  But it also highlights the advantage of being on the “house list” -­ where you get better deals than anyone else, before the general public even has a chance to see the product.  You can bet I’ll alert the house list customers to that very fact, too, at the next opportunity.)

The printed material in this entire collection is rife with typos.  No matter how many people proofread a piece, mistakes slip through.  As long as they aren’t genuine disasters that ruin the sales-worthiness of the copy, however, it’s all right.

Heck, sometimes even disasters work out.  I once had a letter mail with two critical pages missing – the pages with the ordering instructions and phone number and details about the freebies being given away!  The ONLY way the reader could order was to hunt down the phone number on the order coupon (buried in the package)…and he wouldn’t know what the package actually consisted of or how much it would cost until he called.

And yet that piece — with the missing pages — actually OUTPULLED another test-cell that went out with all pages intact.  Figure that one out.

Now, I’m not recommending you start deliberately confusing your customers.  But it’s worth noting that many successful packages do exactly that — they are loaded with multiple letters, lift notes, folded 4-color brochures, reminder post-it notes, sealed envelopes and more. A little 3-ring circus explodes from the envelope into your lap.

Half a century ago, when most letters were still being typed on typewriters, savvy marketers would intentionally use a typewriter with dirty letters (like an “e” that was filled in), and capital letters punched too high off the line for their sales letters.  So it would look something like this: