Here is that notoriously-long letter I wrote to the bodybuilding market a few years back. It’s a trimmed-down version of the 23-page letter that originally went out - we condensed a bunch of the charts and whittled the thing down to a nice and tidy 16 pages. Very little of the original copy was edited, however.
When I tell other copywriters I forced bodybuilders to read a 16-page letter, they just stare at me and blink. When I tell them this letter pulled in a fortune for my clients, as well, and mailed steadily for years, you can see the strain on their forehead as their brain tries to wrap around that disturbing fact.
Why disturbing? Because it runs counter to the one belief most ad people religiously cling to — that people won’t read long copy. Especially market segments like… well, like bodybuilders … which aren’t known for their literary appetites.
Let this be the stake through that vampire’s heart. Not only will bodybuilders read long copy… but they will devour it like hungry wolves… as long as that copy is targeted at the sweet spot of their passion.
I threw everything and the kitchen sink into this piece. Direct challenges to common wisdom. Insults at the “fat cat” marketers who rule the gym. Power words like garbage, scandal, cheating, and human guinea pig. A riveting personal story (“I still have scars like railroad tracks where they cut me open!”). The dirty secrets of the supplement industry exposed.
Plus… the astonishing discoveries that slowly and painfully lead to the Ultimate Bodybuilding Supplement. Ta-daaaa!
Don’t you dare read this as a ‘”bodybuilding ad”. It’s a virtual template for almost any product on the planet that challenges the status quo (as most new products must). Pay close attention to the deep detail… the luxuriously-long explanations of complex physiology …the take-away on page 9 (“do not even think about trying this supplement unless…”)… the irrefutable avalanche of testimonials at just the right time… the plain English translations of chemical and amino acid breakdowns … and the urgency of the offer.
It’s a lot of copy…but it’s all precisely what the passionate reader CRAVES. Information — and lots of it, easy to understand — about the thing closest to his heart:Building new muscle quickly.
Notice, too, that the tone never strays from the informal “just us bodybuilders talking here” style. If this material were presented to bodybuilders as part of a boring class on physiology, there would be serious snoozing within five minutes. But it’s not a boring class– it’s an excited and exciting discussion about something they love.
This letter has been retired… but onlybecause the product was changed considerably, and a whole new piece was required. It never ceased to pull impressive numbers.
It’s important to note that — once this letter made the rounds of nearly every bodybuilder this client could reach – the following letters did not need to be this long.
We could get by on 5 or 8-page letters. We’d established ourselves. We didn’t need to keep beating the dead horse of the “fat cat marketers”, because it became an old story. A story made old by this very piece, which changed so many minds in the gym that other marketers were forced to sit up and pay attention.
Great copy can change the world, my friend. The power of the pen trumps even the sword.
Click here to see the “Open Letter to Every Bodybuilder…” ad.
(It will open in a new window or tab, so you can toggle between the ad and Carlton’s commentary below.)