September 18

John Carlton’s Best Ads: The Amazing Secrets Of A Short, Desperate Nerd From Pomona

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The book being touted in this ad was written by a nice young Catholic boy who married the first girl he ever kissed.

It’s true. I couldn’t make this stuff up.

The client actually had the goods — he had learned some pretty remarkable insights and tactics in the mating game, and was very successful with the ladies. But he couldn’t write to save his life. So he hired the nice Catholic boy… who promptly censored everything the client told him.

I imagine the poor guy blushed and had nightmares the entire time he spent writing the book. At any rate… almost none of the really good advice made it to the printed page.

The final manuscript read like a Boy Scout dating manual from the Fifties.

I tell you this interesting little tidbit because… while the ad I wrote pulled like crazy… almost every customer who actually read the book returned it for a refund. Someday, the client is going to go back and reveal all the good stuff that was edited out, and nobody’s gonna return that book. But often, it takes more energy and motivation to fix a product than it does to create it in the first place. That’s just human nature. It’s much more fun to move on to another exciting project.

I include the ad here only because it’s a good example of “twisting” the usual benefits of the market. Most products of this sort are about becoming an alpha male, with all the necessary skills of pursuing and seducing mates. That sounds like too much work to me — so I touted the idea of attracting women, so they come to you. Subtle twist. It worked.

The book sucked, was all.


Click here to see “The Amazing Secrets Of A Short, Desperate Nerd From Pomona” ad.
(It will open in a new window or tab, so you can toggle between the ad and Carlton’s commentary below.)


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