Most self-defense ads try hard to look tough. Like the product is tough, the talent is tough, even the receptionist answering the phones is tough. Pick up a Black Belt or Soldier of Fortune magazine and check out the attitude of the writing.
Tough guys. Grrrr.
Sports in general falls into that trap every few years. Before the irreverent ESPN hit the scene with the brilliant one-liner style of Sports Center, it was hard to get a breath of fresh air in any ad for sports. It was all-locker room, all the time.
It wasn’t always like that, though. Long ago, some of the finest writers in the world were sports writers. Red Smith. Howard Cosell. Guys who instinctually uncovered the sensational aspect of any game and created such a compelling story that you were forced to read every word. What killed it for sports was the unrelenting mergers of media outlets, until most cities now only have one newspaper, and the newscasts are dumbed-down to the lowest common denominator. No competition, and the writers have gotten lazy and boring.
I am always looking for a hook in my ads (and especially in the headlines) that will jar the reader awake. I want every ad to be the one thing he reads that stays with him all day long. He tells his friends about it. It haunts him, causes him to shake his head in wonder, gooses his brain and gets his blood flowing.
That’s why I work so hard finding that jaw-dropping story behind the product. It’s often a throwaway line someone mentions, a detail no one else takes seriously. Something offbeat, intriguing and sensational.
I’ll wager this ad is the first time any martial artist anywhere has encountered the words ”naked girls”, “pudgy guy”, and “bad-ass bikers” in the same sentence. It’s exactly the kind of over-the-top, attention-grabbing line I search for in my work as a sales detective.
Also, notice the clever way “choice” is introduced into the offer. Most deals have a designated freebie and a designated main product. This is different. Different, but not complicated. It’s still an easy offer to understand and act on.
Click here to see “The Naked Girls All Laughed Behind The Little Pudgy Guy’s Back” ad.
(It will open in a new window or tab, so you can toggle between the ad and Carlton’s commentary.)
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