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  • I want to become a great direct response copywriter…I joined here because I craved positivity and like-minded individuals. One thing I began to do is follow direct marketing companies and begin to formulate how they market their products. Sadly, from what I have noticed, the lack of storytelling stands out like a sore thumb and the writing…Read more

    • Rob, that you are already noticing this indicates you’re off to a good start.

      Stories sell. That’s true in any business.

      Unless you are writing for companies like Coke, who’s fortune is their distribution and LONG-time market penetration, ignore their ads. You have nothing to learn from what they do. Does not apply to any of the gigs you’re…Read more

    • Yes, Rob, you’re seeing this correctly. There is, indeed, a need for writers who know how to craft a story. But it must be joined at the hip with salesmanship — too many writers bore readers with tangents that may be “important” to character development or plotlessness, but which aren’t relevant to the bottom line of persuading a prospect to…Read more

  • Hello MRIC members!

    I’m getting ready to launch my Freelance B2B Copywriting biz very shortly after finally escaping 20 + years of corporate 9-5 …and studying Copywriting for the past several years intensely. I’m very excited!

    I have a question though, please, for experienced Freelance Copywriters on submitting your actual Copy to your…Read more

  • I have a working sales copy that has been tested with roughly 100 warm clicks.. I’m adjusting it still and want to turn into a VSL. I’m working on the vsl script now but wondering what are difference between a vsl script vs a long letter page? I notice that VSLs don’t start off with headlines. Thanks. My copy is at fatburningbreakfast(dot) com

    • I like the headline, but I think you can touch up some of the copy…and make it more clear and concise.

    • The VSL has to start off with something that grabs the attention of the viewer, which is the same thing a headline does. You might want to start by recording the sales letter to see how it sounds. A good sales letter would make a good VSL. One thing that John teaches is that if you have a face-to-face sales presentation that works you can…Read more

      • Virgina, Thank you so much for your constructive criticism, I really appreciate it. Confusing is not good and I don’t want to confuse my consumer, thanks for that. Is this more clear. I added “that after using it.”

        “Breakthrough Fat Loss Discovery Reveals a Powerful 72 Hour Metabolic Trick That After Using it, in 9 Days it Will Make You Look…Read more

  • Hello MRIC! Some feedback please on my headline for my upcoming Freelance Copywriter Website page!
    Actual formatting will be only 2 lines …with first line ending after “years”
    Thanks!
    Larry E

    From Wall Street to Main Street. Highly successful stockbroker uses 20 years experience to write winning financial copy for you!

    • I’m not sure that being a successful stockbroker qualifies you to write copy. Stockbrokers analyze stocks, which requires a completely different skill set than writing compelling copy.

      If you were a stockbroker who wrote winning copy for himself that would be a different thing, but that’s not what you are saying here.

      • Point taken Virginia thanks!
        Perhaps I should have prefaced my post here that this is going to a B2B target audience.
        I was hoping that reference to my past would show familiarity with the industry and infer my ability to avoid the maze of compliance, legal and regulatory hurdles that financial copy must avoid.
        But this is a work in progress as…Read more

        • How about:

          “Finally – a Financial Copywriter who actually knows Finance”

          • Hi Steve,
            Thanks!
            I think the same way Virginia replied earlier,
            “I’m not sure that being a successful stockbroker qualifies you to write copy” would apply here with knowing finance vs.writing copy.
            Take care,
            Larry E

      • Or what if I used my body copy on my web page to expand on some of the points I made in my reply here as to how my vast knowledge of the industry, i.e. Not just investments but regulations, research, Asset Allocation, Portfolio theory etc etc will play a big part in my being able to develop and structure interesting and persuasive copy for a client.

  • I run a fitness certification (we certify persona trainers) and I’ve got an interesting customer story but have been avoiding using it for my business for years.

    Here it is in a ‘Carltony’ style headline:

    “How A Tatted Up Ex-Con From New York Accidentally Discovers A Quick Way To Legally Earn $220,000!”

    It’s a bizarre but true tale of a…Read more

    • Evan – I don’t see any reason why I wouldn’t try that hook if I were you.

      As we try to demonstrate in the Simple Writing System, sections of the sales message can be tested independently from others.

      In this case, that hook doesn’t mean you have to change the benefits of your offer, or your specific offer.

      I’ve never met an active trainer who…Read more

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