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Rob Bucher posted an update 8 years, 11 months ago · updated 8 years, 10 months ago
I want to become a great direct response copywriter…I joined here because I craved positivity and like-minded individuals. One thing I began to do is follow direct marketing companies and begin to formulate how they market their products. Sadly, from what I have noticed, the lack of storytelling stands out like a sore thumb and the writing…Read more
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Larry E. posted an update 8 years, 11 months ago · updated 8 years, 10 months ago
Hello MRIC members!
I’m getting ready to launch my Freelance B2B Copywriting biz very shortly after finally escaping 20 + years of corporate 9-5 …and studying Copywriting for the past several years intensely. I’m very excited!
I have a question though, please, for experienced Freelance Copywriters on submitting your actual Copy to your…Read more
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Best of luck Larry! Hopefully you exceed all your expectations and you enjoy massive success.
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Thanks Rob!
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Great Pete….thanks! Just printed this out to refer to going forward!
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Congrats for the bold step, Larry! And the best of luck and massive success and joy and positive excitement:-)
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Thanks very much Marc!
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Act like you’ve been there before.
If they don’t give you specific instructions, don’t ask. You’re both indicating it’s your first rodeo and begging for a complex answer.
A Word doc, with all of the style you recommend, is fine. In the end, it’s their call if they use your font, italics, bullet format, etc.
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Thanks Stan!
Gotcha! I won’t open a potential Hornets nest with a new client if one doesn’t exist.
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Ryan SAplan posted an update 8 years, 11 months ago · updated 8 years, 11 months ago
I have a working sales copy that has been tested with roughly 100 warm clicks.. I’m adjusting it still and want to turn into a VSL. I’m working on the vsl script now but wondering what are difference between a vsl script vs a long letter page? I notice that VSLs don’t start off with headlines. Thanks. My copy is at fatburningbreakfast(dot) com
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I like the headline, but I think you can touch up some of the copy…and make it more clear and concise.
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The VSL has to start off with something that grabs the attention of the viewer, which is the same thing a headline does. You might want to start by recording the sales letter to see how it sounds. A good sales letter would make a good VSL. One thing that John teaches is that if you have a face-to-face sales presentation that works you can…Read more
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Virgina, Thank you so much for your constructive criticism, I really appreciate it. Confusing is not good and I don’t want to confuse my consumer, thanks for that. Is this more clear. I added “that after using it.”
“Breakthrough Fat Loss Discovery Reveals a Powerful 72 Hour Metabolic Trick That After Using it, in 9 Days it Will Make You Look…Read more
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Larry E. posted an update 8 years, 11 months ago · updated 8 years, 11 months ago
Hello MRIC! Some feedback please on my headline for my upcoming Freelance Copywriter Website page!
Actual formatting will be only 2 lines …with first line ending after “years”
Thanks!
Larry EFrom Wall Street to Main Street. Highly successful stockbroker uses 20 years experience to write winning financial copy for you!
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I’m not sure that being a successful stockbroker qualifies you to write copy. Stockbrokers analyze stocks, which requires a completely different skill set than writing compelling copy.
If you were a stockbroker who wrote winning copy for himself that would be a different thing, but that’s not what you are saying here.
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Point taken Virginia thanks!
Perhaps I should have prefaced my post here that this is going to a B2B target audience.
I was hoping that reference to my past would show familiarity with the industry and infer my ability to avoid the maze of compliance, legal and regulatory hurdles that financial copy must avoid.
But this is a work in progress as…Read more-
How about:
“Finally – a Financial Copywriter who actually knows Finance”
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Hi Steve,
Thanks!
I think the same way Virginia replied earlier,
“I’m not sure that being a successful stockbroker qualifies you to write copy” would apply here with knowing finance vs.writing copy.
Take care,
Larry E
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Or what if I used my body copy on my web page to expand on some of the points I made in my reply here as to how my vast knowledge of the industry, i.e. Not just investments but regulations, research, Asset Allocation, Portfolio theory etc etc will play a big part in my being able to develop and structure interesting and persuasive copy for a client.
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You can do all that, but the headline has to grab the reader and compel him to read further. I don’t think your headline does that You can say anything you want in the body, but if they don’t get that far it doesn’t help because they will never see it.
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So true!
I’m gonna work on it.
Thanks for the guidance you are absolutely right!
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You can finish writing your home page and apply for a hot seat if you want.
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That’s a great idea, thanks!
First I have to stop dialing it back because of it being B2B as its all H2H as we’re all just human! -
Virginia,
Curious what you think of the rewrite!
Taking into consideration one of the biggest pain points in b2b financial copy is getting good, interesting copy that is compliant!
With all the regulatory nonsense involved in approvals that’s the issue I’m focussing on in my new headline!
With a lot of inner reflection I came to the conclusion…Read more-
That sounds better.
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I would take this and start a new post. That way other people will see it. It is kind of getting buried here.
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Great!
Thanks for the rapid feedback!
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I would dig deeper, pull back the layers and define “Highly Successful”
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Yea, I am in the body this is just the web page headline I’m trying to get done now.
Thanks!
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Evan Chacker posted an update 8 years, 11 months ago · updated 8 years, 11 months ago
I run a fitness certification (we certify persona trainers) and I’ve got an interesting customer story but have been avoiding using it for my business for years.
Here it is in a ‘Carltony’ style headline:
“How A Tatted Up Ex-Con From New York Accidentally Discovers A Quick Way To Legally Earn $220,000!”
It’s a bizarre but true tale of a…Read more
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Evan – I don’t see any reason why I wouldn’t try that hook if I were you.
As we try to demonstrate in the Simple Writing System, sections of the sales message can be tested independently from others.
In this case, that hook doesn’t mean you have to change the benefits of your offer, or your specific offer.
I’ve never met an active trainer who…Read more
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Thanks Stan, I’ll give it a shot then!
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Recent Member Lessons
John Carlton’s Best Ads: Hyper-Effective Cover Letters #1 — My All-Time Favorite Cover Letter
There are two keys to the following cover letter. First is the personalization in the subhead. That alone is a compelling way to engage the reader. Second, though, is a much more subtle tactic. It's disarming, clever, and hits directly at the...
John Carlton’s Best Ads: Short, Old-As-Dirt “Nice Guy” Finishes First
Let's count the ''tricks" I pulled out of my bag for this ad: A take-away superscript. (Gone in 11 days.) Instant urgency. Long headline. A compelling "not what you expected" type of headline. This is self-defense ...and yet we're talking about old short guys in the...
John Carlton’s Best Ads: We Screwed Up Big Time
Here is a good example of a "lipstick" letter. The reference is to the old comedy routine of coming home with lipstick on your collar -- and obviously dire situation that would crush a normal man. But a top – notch salesmen should be able to talk his way out of...
John Carlton’s Best Ads: The “Piss Everyone Off and Then Apologize” Letter
Here is the letter I mention in “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets” where the personalized headline enraged so many people. I was only trying for a “visceral” connection in the headline — you know, give people’s hot button about vulnerability a gentle rap. Get a reaction.
Boy, did it ever cause a reaction…
You can check out John Carlton’s “Piss Everyone Off and Then Apologize” ad…
… and some of his other top-grossing ads…
… PLUS, get additional commentary and insights from John on this and many more of his best ads.
Learn the background, insights, structure, a persuasion techniques that went into some of the ads that launched John Carlton into the world of copywriting and advertising legends.
And start applying those same techniques to your own sales copy.
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Rob, that you are already noticing this indicates you’re off to a good start.
Stories sell. That’s true in any business.
Unless you are writing for companies like Coke, who’s fortune is their distribution and LONG-time market penetration, ignore their ads. You have nothing to learn from what they do. Does not apply to any of the gigs you’re…Read more
Yes, Rob, you’re seeing this correctly. There is, indeed, a need for writers who know how to craft a story. But it must be joined at the hip with salesmanship — too many writers bore readers with tangents that may be “important” to character development or plotlessness, but which aren’t relevant to the bottom line of persuading a prospect to…Read more