Welcome back to the club!
What’s happening in the Clubhouse
Click here to join the conversation
Latest Activity
-
Edward Byrne posted an update 9 years ago · updated 9 years ago
I am reposting this with a link to the copy. Would really appreciate some opinion on this copy. It is a “negative reframe” of 2 alternatives to my product (a give up smoking eBook) My thanks.
cocoallegro Negative Reframe – cocoallegroNicotine Replacement Option negative reframe… -
JonathanC posted an update 9 years ago
While looking up a Finnish customer\’s name (to see if it was actually a name) I stumbled upon this guy. I think he was in the DVD for SWS, no? The poker player. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juha_Helppi
-
Edward Byrne posted an update 9 years ago · updated 9 years ago
Am I allowed to post copy here for opinions from members or the team?
-
Yes, you are, Edward.
-
-
The Marketing Rebel Team wrote a new post 9 years ago
John Carlton Copywriting Tips: Learn How to Write to Women
In this clip, John Carlton tells the best way to get into the female mind and figure out how to write to women. John’s comments: By […] -
Larry E. posted an update 9 years ago
Just to let everyone know John\’s first RANT of the new year is ready to read and it\’s a great one!
If you didn\’t read December 2015 go back and read it cause you\’re missing out on a lot of great stuff!
http://www.John-Carlton.com
All my best,
Larry E
Recent Member Lessons
Action Seminar: Can You Split Test With Mixed Traffic?
The Action Seminar speakers answer questions from the audience. In this excerpt, Jon Correll explains how to split test a page if you are getting traffic from different sources? [embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asQRbvKBlBw[/embedyt] Jon’s comments: Is it a...
John Carlton’s Best Ads: What Women Secretly Wish You Knew About Sex
I struggled for years to get Rodale to use personalization in a letter. My other clients found that personalizing a letter boosted response by as much as 30% -- a very significant increase to the bottom line. Working with large mailers, you are pitted against...
John Carlton’s Best Ads: The Only Sex Book You’ll Ever Admit To Buying
You have to imagine what was going on in Rodale's collective head at the time. This is a very conservative, east-Pennsylvania-based publisher -- one of the largest mailers in the world. But their main fare are books on gardening, health, folk recipes, stuff like that....
John Carlton’s Best Ads: Hot Off The Lot
This is an ancient manuscript for an ad I wrote maybe 15 years ago. If you know anything about me personally, you know I'm the worst sort of pack-rat there is. I have dozens of banker's boxes in the garage stuffed with files, notes, ads and what-not--some of it going...
Premium Programs
Platinum Mastermind
The Simple Writing System
Enter The Clubhouse
Kick-Ass Copywriting
Carlton Swipe Files
The Freelance Course
Edward,
It’s hard to give feedback on 2 snippets of copy without knowing how they fit into the whole.
The first thing I’d check is if you are consistent in your warnings. Do smokers “… pretty much run our lives around smoking …” or “… run our lives…”.
I think you’ve made a case against each of these two options.
PS – I deleted you…Read more
Good point, thanks Stan.
‘pretty much’ is redundant
As I just put out a Sherman Platinum. (Oops, another deep tissue addiction) I found your copy intriguing as a whole. The “reward” and “deserved time out” resonates with smokers. (You’ve crawled into their heads!) I only smoke one a day, but I guess that’s how all addictions start.
Mark L – SWS Senior Instructor since 2008