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Jose Ayala posted an update 9 years, 2 months ago · updated 9 years, 2 months ago
Hey guy’s Im new I just joined earlier this morning.
Last night I saw a video on YouTube of Mr. Jay Abraham where he talked about using Amazon reviews section to know your audience. .. any thoughts? Thanks.
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Aaron Angel posted an update 9 years, 2 months ago · updated 9 years, 2 months ago
Got my FIRST PAID GIG… Any feedback from experienced copywriters would be MUCH Appreciated.
I don’t have time to submit this for a hot seat or anything, although I would love to do so in the future, but this needs to be turned in to my client by Monday. (Link Below)
It’s an email that my client, a respected local insurance agent with high net…Read more
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Hi Aaron: A couple of things for you to consider. You say that everyone is bracing for El Nino, but you go to great lengths to prove to the reader that there is a threat. If they already know of the threat then it really shouldn’t be necessary to try to convince them of it, and it may insult them by implying that they don’t know what is going…Read more
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Hey Virginia,
Thank you for the pointers.
I guess I’ll just bring up El Nino… and get rid of the scary newspaper quotes, huh?
And yes, this is his current book of business, but it is quite large (3000+). He definitely isn’t on a real personal level with all of them… but I definitely wasn’t going for a “cold” tone (I wanted to be…Read more
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I can’t really point to anything specific that makes me say it is cold. Maybe it is just professional. If that’s the way he communicates with his clients then you can probably leave it.
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Yes, it’s one of the big Insurance companies, and he has very high-end clients… and I do know that he like to present himself as professional.
I haven’t showed it to him yet, but he might even say it’s a little too personal (just because of some of the terminology I used).
But other than that, you think I should remove the newspaper quotes I…Read more
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Hi Aaron: I think that looks a lot better. If it were me I would say “for as little as $1.18/day” instead of “around $1.18/day” just for those who are in flood zones but don’t currently have insurance because they don’t have a mortgage and elected not to get it.. They may be upset if he then tells them that it is much more expensive for them.
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Done. Thanks again. This guy has big money he wants to spend on advertising and if he gets any kind of return on this email… he’ll be spending it with me 🙂 I can’t thank you enough for your input.
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Hey Virginia, I took your advice, plus I cut out about half the garbage I had in there that didn’t relate to selling a policy. I’ll still probably fine tune it, but if you’ve got a couple of minutes, I’d love to hear what you think. Thanks.
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Well, here was the final draft that I turned into my client:
http://insurance.highcaliberseo.com/
He hated it 🙁
He said it had junior high language in it and too many parenthesis.
He also said, he would never send something like this out to his existing book of business.
Oh well, on to the next.
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Junior High Language is actually too complex. You should aim for 5th grade!
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Lol, thanks Virginia. Did you actually read the final copy?
I know my client is a conservative guy, but I’m curious (without a complete break down of course), but just for my own knowledge…
Is it decent or not?
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They really put you into a bad place to begin with because you didn’t get any time to prepare. Did they send you any of his previous emails so you could get an idea of his “voice”? It may be a bad idea to just take work with such a tight deadline, especially for a new client. How did you get the gig? Did you know this agent before?
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I do know the agent. And here’s an email that another agent sent out that he really liked:
http://insurance.highcaliberseo.com/el-nino-email-9/
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Also. Can you legally quote prices in the email? Does everyone pay the same thing?
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He provided me with an email that had already been approved by compliance (and sent out by one of his colleagues)… it was really dry, but they said in it that a Standard Preferred Risk rate was $430 a year, so I just divided that by $365.
It’s an NFIP policy… so I guess it’s about the same for everyone in a “non” flood zone.
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Whoops, I meant I divided the $430 by 365. And sure, it’s not a one-size-fits-all, but if they allowed the other guy to put $430 in his email, I don’t know why they won’t let my client put $1.18 in.
At the very least, I just want to get people calling in and inquiring. He can then do the selling.
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Virginia, thank you so much for your advice.
I edited the email heavily… and will probably chisel it down even further before Sunday.
Thanks again for your input.
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You’re welcome. I was thinking….since these people are not in flood zones probably their biggest objection is not that they don’t believe there will be storms but that they won’t be affected by it. I own a home in Florida which is a few miles from the coast and I don’t have flood insurance because I don’t think my home is in danger since it…Read more
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That’s a great point Virginia. 1 in 5 claims is in a “non” flood zone. The initial email got so long that I forgot to add that in. Thanks again.
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Hey Pete,
Thank you for your time… and considerable thought you put into this.
You must have read the email last night… before I edited the heck out of it.
The new version is here: http://insurance.highcaliberseo.com/
And yes, I was totally whorring (taking the project on such short notice). It is what it is… but he has other projects…Read more
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Pete, thanks again for the solid advice and for taking time out of your Sunday to help me out.
I was very nervous, cause this is my first paid gig, but your and Virginia’s advice has been invaluable.
I think I’m gonna turn this version in… see what he says… and take it from there.
It will be interesting to hear his reaction as it will also…Read more
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Thanks for the words of encouragement Pete. And thanks again for you input when I was in a crunch.
I know he’s a pretty conservative guy… and I tried to be super conservative in the copy I wrote for him… but, oh well.
Did you look at the email (from the other agent) that he liked?
Anyways, he still wants me to create a couple of landing…Read more
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Chris Hatcher posted an update 9 years, 2 months ago · updated 9 years, 2 months ago
Hey, Guys looking forward to this course.
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Bloggingwench posted an update 9 years, 2 months ago · updated 9 years, 2 months ago
OK, I’ve been getting feedback from one of my clients, Glenn Livingston (and his MakeThemBuy team) and I’d love to get feedback here, too. This is a sales page I’m building for myself as a ghostwriter. Don’t be shy… your first impression is very welcome! http://www.ghostwritingmuse.com
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Hi Wench (sorry, couldn’t resist): You can have John and Stan spend some time critiquing your copy if you apply for a hot seat (link to the right under hot seats and consulting).
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Thanks!
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Hi Mia – You’re giving me WAY too much to think about WAY too soon.
Here’s a way to get to your next draft quickly –
Print this out & get a black marker.
Read every sentence. If that sentence is not a Benefit of hiring a ghostwriter, black it out.
Take what’s left (it’s won’t be very much) and rewrite those points. Below that, ask me to give…Read more
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Great feedback, and I appreciate it, Stan. To tell you the truth, this WAS a pdf and I stuck it in here while learning this WordPress theme. I understand exactly what you’re saying, and WILL DO!
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Larry E. posted an update 9 years, 2 months ago · updated 9 years, 2 months ago
John,Stan and Virginia,
As the GARY HALBERT NEWSLETTER ARCHIVES are all free I thought it okay to post link for other MRIC members to enjoy however if it’s something I shouldn’t have posted I apologize and just let me know I will delete it!
Thanks!-
Hi Larry,
You, and all members, are encouraged to share other resources you think will help other members.
The only think we don’t allow is posting affiliate links. If it’s the standard link, post away.
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Yup, no Affiliate links here I assure you!
Thanks!
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What did he say about it?
What you’re trying to learn by reading customer reviews is what people in that marketing like / are looking for, and the language they use to describe the problems then have and the solutions they are looking for or have found.
This will help you write copy in the language of that market.
Awesome! Another question… how would you recommend me handwrite copy.. should I copy the exact format as the original letter I’m rewriting for example write the headline out on the top center and sub headline under or does it not matter as long as I just write write and write. I’m trying to do what gary Halbert said…Read more
I don’t think the format matters. The idea is to force your brain to slow down so you can better experience the rhythm and structure of words that have proven to convince humans to exchange money for a product or a service.
Awesome. Hey I can’t find John’s licence to steal… is it off the market?
It’s not available right now.