Welcome back to the club!
What’s happening in the Clubhouse
Click here to join the conversation
Latest Activity
-
Edward Byrne posted an update 9 years, 1 month ago · updated 9 years, 1 month ago
I am reposting this with a link to the copy. Would really appreciate some opinion on this copy. It is a “negative reframe” of 2 alternatives to my product (a give up smoking eBook) My thanks.
cocoallegro Negative Reframe – cocoallegroNicotine Replacement Option negative reframe… -
JonathanC posted an update 9 years, 1 month ago
While looking up a Finnish customer\’s name (to see if it was actually a name) I stumbled upon this guy. I think he was in the DVD for SWS, no? The poker player. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juha_Helppi
-
Edward Byrne posted an update 9 years, 1 month ago · updated 9 years, 1 month ago
Am I allowed to post copy here for opinions from members or the team?
-
The Marketing Rebel Team wrote a new post 9 years, 1 month ago
John Carlton Copywriting Tips: Learn How to Write to Women
In this clip, John Carlton tells the best way to get into the female mind and figure out how to write to women. John’s comments: By […]
-
Larry E. posted an update 9 years, 2 months ago
Just to let everyone know John\’s first RANT of the new year is ready to read and it\’s a great one!
If you didn\’t read December 2015 go back and read it cause you\’re missing out on a lot of great stuff!
http://www.John-Carlton.com
All my best,
Larry E
Recent Member Lessons
How to Format a Manuscript for Publishing
A great way to establish yourself as an expert, make it easier to get media appearances, and grab the attention of your best prospects is to write a book. Self-publishing doesn't have the stigma it used to...you don't have to spend thousands of dollars on books that...
How to Write Your Book
How to write your book…Pretty lofty title, eh? I originally called this post "How to Write A Book". But, there is a world of difference between "a book" and "your book". If you don't believe this, you haven't written your book yet. Just another example of the power of...
Introduction to Public Domain
There has been a lot of talk recently about using public domain work as a basis for content…for websites, books, ebooks, etc. One thing that is very tempting about it is that it is already written and may be copied and used for free with no worry about copyright...
How to Use Video with Email to Promote your Business
Video is a great way to get new customers (by "customers" I also mean "patients" or "clients" or whatever else you may call them) as well as to engage and cement your relationship with your current customers. Of course, if you have a membership site (like Marketing...
Premium Programs

Platinum Mastermind

The Simple Writing System
Enter The Clubhouse


Kick-Ass Copywriting
Carlton Swipe Files

The Freelance Course

Edward,
It’s hard to give feedback on 2 snippets of copy without knowing how they fit into the whole.
The first thing I’d check is if you are consistent in your warnings. Do smokers “… pretty much run our lives around smoking …” or “… run our lives…”.
I think you’ve made a case against each of these two options.
PS – I deleted you…Read more
Good point, thanks Stan.
‘pretty much’ is redundant
As I just put out a Sherman Platinum. (Oops, another deep tissue addiction) I found your copy intriguing as a whole. The “reward” and “deserved time out” resonates with smokers. (You’ve crawled into their heads!) I only smoke one a day, but I guess that’s how all addictions start.
Mark L – SWS Senior Instructor since 2008