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Kelsey Henderson posted an update 8 years, 2 months ago · updated 8 years, 2 months ago
Marketing Rebels how are you? I have some copy I would like critiqued. I’m in the process of having this sales letter turned into a VSL. Please be brutally honest thank you!
ultimatehandpickedlifestyle |Heat-up your business lightning-fast and enroll more prospects,… -
Kelsey Henderson posted an update 8 years, 2 months ago
This is the written version
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GregC posted an update 8 years, 2 months ago · updated 8 years, 2 months ago
Hello Marketing Rebels! I have a question regarding the length of headlines on webpages. My SEO consultant has recommended that I cut down the length of the following headline because it’s not SEO friendly, and too long for mobile screens:
“Looking For An Experienced Commercial Litigation Lawyer Providing Quality Fixed Fee Legal Services?”
He…Read more
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Hi Greg: Welcome to the Club! I can’t give you any advice about the length of your headline, but I do have a comment about its wording:
I see you are in the Simple Writing System, so you will dive into headlines in step 10. You will learn that your headline should be benefit-driven. What is in it for the client? Yours is full of features…Read more
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Hi Virginia,
Thank you, that’s great advice. I had thought the fixed fee part of my headline was an obvious benefit, but you’re right, I need to go further to explain what’s in it for the client.
I hope someone can answer my first question!
Regards,
Greg
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I just looked at your site, Greg, and you’ve changed the headline already into one loaded with benefits. Good job.
Online, pithier is better. Not necessarily “shorter”, but tighter than you’d see in direct mail or in email or on sites that don’t care about mobile viewing (though those are getting rare). When you can stretch out your writing, you…Read more
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Hi John,
Thank you so much for your comments (and praise)! I’m doing the SWS and will be doing the headline part today, so perfect timing!
I’m really interested in your additional comment about the length of online body copy. Based on your view that good long copy sells in any medium, and your occasional references to single scroll websites,…Read more
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Body copy should be as long as it needs to be, written in a way that excites and propels your reader to act.
We were discussing headlines, only, before. The reason longer heads don’t “translate” well to mobile is because they’re usually in a large, bold font, which seems jumbled and erratic within the closed confines of a mobile phone or tablet.…Read more
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Hi Pete,
Many thanks for your thoughtful comments. As you may have seen John has kindly replied to me, and I’ve responded to him.
In the end I decided to ruthlessly cut the headline down, so that it was not only a great headline but good for SEO. I came to the conclusion that I couldn’t satisfy SEO requirements with a long headline.
Another…Read more
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IvanP88 posted an update 8 years, 2 months ago · updated 8 years, 2 months ago
HI everyone. Rookie here, what is the difference between content marketing and direct response marketing? I\’m a bit confused with the craze over content marketing…. when a piece of content has a call to action at the bottom, isn\’t that just direct response?
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Hi Ivan: Welcome to the club, and welcome to the Simple Writing System! Direct response marketing usually involves a sales letter or opt-in form and the response you usually want is for someone to opt in or buy from you, You usually get people to that page through some type of paid ad, though now always. Content marketing refers to posting…Read more
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hupomeno posted an update 8 years, 2 months ago · updated 8 years, 2 months ago
Hey fellow marketers! I am going back over some lessons and would like some feedback on SWS 12, Sales Message. My wife and I recently took over a fitness studio and will be building out a web site. I believe I need to be more edgy. All critiques welcomed.
Here’s who I am
I am you…the future you…I help people overcome the false identity in their…Read more
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Interesting. It looks good to me, but I am not an expert on this.
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Thank you for the feedback.
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Hi Kelsey: Welcome to the Club!
Great effort and congratulations on taking action. You have a good story here, but I think the video is overkill for just giving away a free report. It is more like a full-length sales letter.
What I would do is write down 5 or 6 bullets telling what the prospect gets out of the report and just cover them in…Read more
It does help! As far as testing goes how much testing should I do before making adjustments.
Also I need critiques on my up sell page http://www.theultimatehandpickedlifestyle.com
I’m looking to use this funnel going from the option to the up sell page to build an info marketing business around the network marketing niche. At the same time building a email list of network marketers as potential prospects for my opportunity.
“opt-in” thanks for the feedback!